Poor Sebastian!
A Dog’s Diary
7 AM - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 AM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 AM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 PM - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!3 PM - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 PM - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 PM - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 PM - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 PM - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 PM - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people’s bed! My favorite!
A Cat’s Diary
Day 183 of my captivity.
My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while
they were walking almost succeeded.
Maybe I should try this at the top of the stairs.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors,
I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair.
I must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body
in an attemptto make them aware of what I am capable of,
and to try to strike fear into their hearts.
They only cooed and condescended about what a good little
kitty cat I was.
This is not working according to plan.
There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices.
I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event.
However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to
my powers of inducing something called “allergies.”
Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return.
He is obviously a half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant.
He speaks with them regularly, and I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room,
his safety is assured. But I can wait.
It’s only a matter of time.